


Ghosts That We Knew

by cassiopeiasara



Series: The SuperMartian Chronicles [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Learning to be a hero, Minor mention of a panic attack, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 18:19:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10836771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiopeiasara/pseuds/cassiopeiasara
Summary: As M'gann's hero training progresses, she reaches a snag. Kara steps in to help pull her out of it.





	Ghosts That We Knew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fictorium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictorium/gifts).



> A/N: It's not essential for you to read the first piece in this series but it might help. Basically, this is canon divergence from 2.11 in which M'gann stays instead of returning to Mars (at least for now). No beta so all mistakes are mine. This series will progress into romance eventually. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these ladies and I seek no profit. The lyrics quoted at the beginning are from Mumford & Sons' "Ghosts That We Knew" which is also where I got the title.

> _So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light_   
>  _‘Cause oh that gave me such a fright_   
>  _But I will hold as long as you like_   
>  _Just promise me we’ll be alright_

It’s the cardboard cutout of a boy that causes her to draw in a breath sharp and shallow. Her training with Kara is going better than expected and the weight that Kara’s been carrying these past few weeks seems a little lighter. M’gann’s hope is in the possibility that her company might have a fraction to do with it.

But the boy stares back at her with fear in his eyes and a teddy bear in his hands. The man with the gun next to him lies in a crumpled mess but if she’d missed, if she’d punched just a millimeter in the wrong direction, it could have been-

Kara’s hand lands on her shoulder and M’gann flinches. She can’t get her breathing under control and all of the sudden, it feels as if the ceiling may come crashing down on her. 

“I need to, I need to…” 

She’s not sure how to explain it and a worry is creeping into Kara’s eyes. 

She can’t be here. She was foolish to think she could be anything near a hero. She phases back into her street clothes and runs out the door. 

Alex calls to her on the way out but M’gann can’t stop. If she stops, she’ll break and she doesn’t want that.

* * *

The bar is crowded thankfully and she loses herself in pouring drink after drink. She just needs to keep moving so she can’t stop to think. 

She heads out to dump some trash and there’s Kara in one of those precious cardigans, fiddling with her glasses. 

M’gann throws the bag into the dumpster with a little more force than necessary. It’s just a reminder of how little it takes to go too far. 

“M’gann?” Kara’s voice is soft, achingly so and it causes M’gann to pause even though she doesn’t want to. 

Kara crosses her eyebrows and looks so concerned that M’gann knows Kara thinks she’s done something wrong. 

“Maybe I’m not ready,” offers M’gann. The last thing she wants is Kara blaming herself. There’s been too much of that lately. 

Kara shakes her head. “But you were so good. Your instincts, your passion, it works and I’m so proud you’ve--”

M’gann lifts a hand to interrupt her. “Kara, I’m just not sure I’m right for this. I want to, I really do and honestly you, J’onn and Alex are the best teachers but,” she clenches her hand in a fist at her side, “I don’t think I’m right for this.”

Kara’s face falls and she nods. M’gann knows she’s fighting her instinct to push and M’gann couldn’t be more grateful. 

She turns to head back in when Kara’s whisper stops her. 

“I’m sorry.”

M’gann turns back and walks closer to Kara, sighing as she asks, “Sorry for what?”

Kara pulls her bottom lip in through her teeth and sighs. “I’m not good at this anymore.”

M’gann reaches out a hand and gives Kara’s arm a light squeeze. “You did nothing wrong, Kara. It’s me.”

Kara shakes her head. “But I don’t understand.”

M’gann lets out a humorless chuckle. “You wouldn’t.”

Kara raises her eyebrows and M’gann turns, placing her hands on her hips. 

“Every time you go out there to save someone, your heart is always in the right place, Kara. You’re just so good and that’s all anyone could ask for in a hero. The people of this city can trust you.”

“And you think they can’t learn to trust you?”

M’gann turns and crosses her arms. “How can they when I don’t trust myself?”

“You can learn that, we can work on it.”

M’gann shakes her head. “I just can’t.” She turns and heads back into the noise and chaos of the bar. 

* * *

M’gann face plants on her couch hours later. The buzz of the bar still rings in her ears but she can’t close her eyes because that boy is there every time she does. That boy just like the one that played the catalyst in her rebellion. 

She turns to lie on her back and pulls the small throw she keeps over her lap. She’s not sure how long she’s there before a soft knock sounds at her door. 

“Coming,” she calls. 

It’s Kara, who offers up a bag. “Ice cream?”

M’gann nods slowly and opens the door. Kara makes her way to the kitchen and pulls out two spoons. 

M’gann takes the offered spoon and shakes her head. “You didn’t have to.”

Kara gives her a soft smile. “I wanted to.”

M’gann takes a bite and leans against the counter. “You deserve an explanation.”

Kara shakes her head. “I don’t want to push you. I want to know but this isn’t about me.”

M’gann sets down her spoon and moves toward the couch. “Kara, I appreciate everything you’ve tried to do. All the training, the faith in me, especially after the disaster of Mon El.”

Kara snorts and nods as she takes another bite of ice cream. 

M’gann crosses her arms and takes a long breath. “But today when we ran that simulation and I came so close to…” She pauses, unsure of how to put into words this fear that lingers every time she gets close, trying to play the hero. 

“But you didn’t, M’gann.”

M’gann crosses her eyebrows and tilts her head. “What?”

Kara sets her spoon on the counter and moves closer to her. “You came so close but you didn’t miss. You keep thinking you’ll mess up, that something inside of you will make the wrong choice but look at everything you’ve done. You defeated your husband, you helped save my sister and if today had been real, you would have saved a retirement home and a little boy caught in a crosswalk.”

Kara places a hand on M’gann’s arm, causing her to loosen her stance. She squeezes as she adds, “You can do this.”

M’gann shakes her head. “What if I--”

Kara smiles. “You know how many times a day I question myself after I save someone? How many times I wonder if I chose the right moment to step in? You have to go for it. If you question yourself too much, you won’t be able to do anything.”

M’gann nods and pats Kara’s hand. “Thank you.”

Kara shrugs and waves a hand. “Always.”

* * *

“Thank you, Ms. Martian, Supergirl.” The teacher smiles as she ushers her kids back into the museum. The trees that almost hit the group are quickly thrown into an open field as Kara alerts the local forestry unit of their location. She smiles and waves at the children. 

M’gann offers a nod, still a little unsure of how to react to the citizen’s thanks. She and Kara walk toward the sidewalk before they take flight again. Kara flips and dives under M’gann. 

“Told you, you could do it.”

M’gann laughs and shakes her head. “Yeah, well, you got lucky this time.”

Kara chuckles as she flips again and rises up to M’gann’s right. “Ready to divert a bridge collapse?”

M’gann nods. “Last one there buys dinner?”

Kara smiles. “You’re on.”


End file.
